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I feel many things all at once. I feel the magnitude of my beliefs… - Caitlin's Cookoo Crazy Journal! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Jan. 15th, 2009|03:16 pm]

I feel many things all at once. I feel the magnitude of my beliefs and I feel that I must contrast these with reality while trusting myself all the while. My feelings as of now include this rash, dire need to get away from this relationship, to do everything possible to leave these feelings of obligation. This connects into the fact that since entering into this relationship, my health has changed, my friends have changed, my house has changed, my persepectives have changed and I am left without anything familiar surrounding me. This is not good nor is it bad, it is neither, but it does make me feel isolated and uncomfortable. It disconnects me to all things that once grounded me and made me, me.

There are so many reasons why I can see myself wanting to stay in this relationship, but none hold sway, none tempt me the way leaving this behind does. It feels so easy, liberating, and freeing to disconnect from this person, to get him out of my space, and out of my thoughts. I feel like I could really focus on healing myself, on my own needs and my own priorities, but I also need to learn how to do both, how to be with another while healing myself, or even better to have the other person help me heal.


From: ciwizeal
2011-04-14 02:36 pm (UTC)
Great post! I wish you could follow up on this topic!

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